Avoid the Saint Patrick’s Day Rush. Brooks Limerick Competition.

10 Mar 2011  |  Posted by GARETH  |  Categories: Events

February’s Haiku Invitational was such a rewarding experience for the Brooks Literary Panel that the decision has been quickly reached to swap some more of our fine cycling equipment for poetry. But what sort of poem this time?

Torn between Petrarchan Sonnet and Pindaric Ode, we agreed in the end to shelve both forms, and are in the happy position of being able to announce that between now and Saint Patrick’s Day next week (March 17th) our Comments Section will be the place to go with your Brooks Saddle Limericks.

The Limerick is rightfully regarded as the Thinking Man’s haiku. More lines, more syllables, the thing has to rhyme a bit, too.

It’s probably accurate to say that a Limerick can often give the impression of whimsicality, of bawdiness, or of having been tossed off at short notice, but we are confident that our eventual winners will manage to forge pieces in the smithy of their souls that will resonate with beauty, with depth, and with truth through the ages to come.

And if they can manage to shoehorn a gratuitous nod to the world’s finest leather bike saddles somewhere along the way, then so much the better.

We have hardly any rules. Don’t start your Limerick with “There was a…”, “There were…”, “There once was a…”, or “There once were…”, and try not to rhyme “Brooks” with any conjugate of the “F-word”.

Whenever I’ve eaten a steak
For dessert it’s a Cadbury’s Flake
Cos the two of them rhyme
And I don’t have much time
Hold on, is that Brooks real or fake?

This is nowhere near the quality we’ll be looking for. In fact, a lot of online betting exchanges have already seen large sums of money wagered on its winning the Wooden Spoon. And this with the Starter’s Flag not yet even raised! So, very bad, but technically a Brooks Saddle Limerick. You can all do better than this.

Incidentally, we gather Andrea will in the coming weeks have some stern words to say on the general subject of the final line.

But for now it’s all still fun and games. Did we mention the prizes? They’re rather special. You’ll hear more about them before the 17th.

Temporary Header

121 Comments

  1. Anwar Rahim 
    Posted 4:25 pm
    11 Mar 2011

    On leather her bottom sits quite peachy
    While those long lycra legs spin round so effortlessly
    With my eyes on her bust
    I tumble and eat dust
    and ponder was it worth it on arriving at casualty

  2. Anwar Rahim 
    Posted 4:27 pm
    11 Mar 2011

    With my legs, lungs and heart all burning
    In my blood all I feel is pain boiling
    I speed past the finish line
    Smashing my previous best time
    Though coming in last again is getting quite boring.

  3. Anwar Rahim 
    Posted 4:29 pm
    11 Mar 2011

    Cycling is ever such fun
    Steel, two wheels, on leather my bum
    The joy of wind in one’s hair
    World flying by and just not a care
    Until a car screeches by, come come!

  4. Bill Laine 
    Posted 5:45 pm
    11 Mar 2011

    A sweet girl rode to New Orleans
    Wishing to take in the scenes
    She met many nice boys
    Who wanted to share all the joys
    But only Brooks got next to her jeans

  5. Bill Laine 
    Posted 6:12 pm
    11 Mar 2011

    Hold on – a better version:

    A sweet girl rode down to New Orleans
    Wishing to see all the scenes
    There were many nice boys
    Proposing many nice joys
    But only Brooks got near her jeans

  6. Vicente Santiago 
    Posted 1:03 am
    12 Mar 2011

    In a world full of lycra and carbon
    I keep a secret while sipping bourbon
    The truth will come out one day
    But I say its damn okay!
    For nothing except really foul weather
    Will let me give up my Brooks leather

    For I have climbed to the top of Kaiser Pass
    And finished 300 miles in one day with a lot of class
    And all I can say is that
    Everything hurt except my ass!

  7. Chris Anich 
    Posted 3:10 am
    12 Mar 2011

    Riding the trail is exciting!
    And a long, open road is inviting!
    But when one can straddle
    A Brooks leather saddle,
    Then one’s journey is truly delighting.

  8. Chris Anich 
    Posted 3:29 am
    12 Mar 2011

    When the rails on my cheap saddle busted,
    My father said, “Brooks can be trusted
    For solid construction
    And bum-pain reduction.
    You’ll find your bike comfort adjusted.”

  9. Chris Anich 
    Posted 3:35 am
    12 Mar 2011

    The only time ever I find
    That I’m thinking about my behind:
    While I sit on a bike
    With a seat I don’t like,
    And then Brooks is not far from my mind.

  10. James MacKEDDIE 
    Posted 9:15 am
    12 Mar 2011

    Attacking the hills calves burning
    With every stroke greater yearning
    For flats and descents
    For pain to repent
    And endorphins to hasten returning

  11. James MacKEDDIE 
    Posted 9:18 am
    12 Mar 2011

    I scoured the globe by bike
    Brooks underneath, satchel by side
    Great wonders I saw
    The rich, the poor
    A humbling experience I write

  12. Anwar Rahim 
    Posted 10:35 am
    12 Mar 2011

    A young cyclist Spanish cyclist called Bertie
    Had won all three Grand Tours before he was thirty
    But he love to eat steak
    because he said it tastes great
    and now some think he’s a bit dirty!

  13. Anwar Rahim 
    Posted 10:37 am
    12 Mar 2011

    A young cyclist Spanish cyclist called Bertie
    Had won all three Grand Tours before he was thirty
    But he loved to eat steak
    because he said it tastes great
    and now some think he’s a bit dirty!

  14. Anwar Rahim 
    Posted 10:45 am
    12 Mar 2011

    An American man called Armstrong
    Got cancer and thought the world was all wrong
    He told it to take a hike
    and got back on his bike
    Now is list of achievements is quite long.

  15. Anwar Rahim 
    Posted 1:41 pm
    12 Mar 2011

    A Manx man who they call Cav
    The green jersey he wanted to have
    He could sprint to the line
    in little to no time
    Though when he speaks he sounds like a chav!

  16. Anwar Rahim 
    Posted 2:11 pm
    12 Mar 2011

    On a fixie I thought I’d look cool
    Over a bicycle without brakes I would drool
    With my gear ratio spot-on
    But me weighing a ton
    Trying to stop I’d end up looking a fool!

  17. Anwar Rahim 
    Posted 2:28 pm
    12 Mar 2011

    Deciding when to attack
    When cycling around a wooden track
    Is never that easy
    And could make you feel queasy
    Specially when Sir Chris Hoy is right on your back!

  18. Chris Anich 
    Posted 3:08 pm
    12 Mar 2011

    I see her and cry out, “Gadzooks!”;
    This cyclist with such sexy looks.
    I thank God He designed her
    With such sweetness behind her.
    O, how I wish I were her Brooks!

  19. Chris Anich 
    Posted 6:14 pm
    12 Mar 2011

    The first thing that I do when I
    A Brooks nameplate on saddle do spy:
    I flash a broad grin,
    As though they were kin,
    Then, on their left, I ride on by.

  20. Anwar Rahim 
    Posted 7:21 pm
    12 Mar 2011

    It must be a gimmick
    Just by writing a short limerick
    You can win some Brooks bootie
    That will turn your bike into a beauty
    Despite having no artistic merit I will get my entry in quick

  21. The Cunning Linguist 
    Posted 8:25 pm
    12 Mar 2011

    The sight of them addles my wits.
    The shape gives me sensuous fits.
    Oh, my hand on the leather,
    Soft and firm both together,
    How I do love to fondle her Brooks.

  22. Al Matulewicz 
    Posted 8:50 pm
    12 Mar 2011

    While stopped for a rest in the shade,
    Our bikes we decided to trade,
    As you can surely guess
    My Brooks did him impress
    And purchase one it did him persuade

  23. Al Matulewicz 
    Posted 8:51 pm
    12 Mar 2011

    My friend had often seen
    My beloved B17
    And on his first ride
    On that piece of hide
    Was convinced to join the Brooks team.

  24. fullface 
    Posted 12:28 pm
    13 Mar 2011

    I had an old raleigh from birmingham
    whose seat was leather and turning tan.

    With aerospoke and vice
    I made it real nice,
    And now it’s a hipsters pelican

  25. Helen Etherington 
    Posted 10:37 pm
    13 Mar 2011

    There is little that i dislike
    About spending some time on my bike
    But there’s just one thing I need
    For my well oiled steed
    A Brooks saddle would be a delight!

  26. Ron Leach 
    Posted 4:42 am
    14 Mar 2011

    Poor Richard had piles
    and couldn’t put in his miles
    Until he decided to ride
    atop supple Brooks hide
    Then he was nothing but smiles

  27. Ron Leach 
    Posted 5:00 am
    14 Mar 2011

    Said the wheel to the frame
    “You’re some pretty dame”
    Said the frame to the wheel
    “You’ve got sex appeal”
    But the saddle has all the fame

  28. Ben Young 
    Posted 11:04 am
    14 Mar 2011

    Choose the Swallow if it’s roads that you pedal
    B67 for that city skidaddle
    But if you do it all
    B17 will enthral
    So straddle that adaptable saddle

  29. Ben Young 
    Posted 1:45 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    In this world of synthetics and plastic
    Brooks Saddles seem iconoclastic
    They’re traditional you see
    Just like afternoon tea
    Yet their performance is simply fantastic

  30. Tom Carter 
    Posted 1:54 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    It is down to the saddle one picks
    The pain it inflicts when one sits
    A Brooks in the best
    For this posterior test
    Aliviation since eighteen eighty six

  31. Douglas Ellmore 
    Posted 2:07 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    Aboard a Brooks Swallow with rails of chrome,
    I train for my first master’s bike road race at home.
    The Seventy-Three Teledyne Titan I’m sure,
    Will catch an eye or two as we tour.
    My heart, my lungs, and my legs will burn finishing fast on leather not foam.

  32. Douglas Ellmore 
    Posted 2:08 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    My first road race at 48 I do train,
    Riding a vintage Teledyne Titan titanium frame,
    My masters bum shall not be last,
    As I promise to finish fast.
    Ahead of the on my Brooks Swallow I do claim!

  33. Douglas Ellmore 
    Posted 2:11 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    A triathlete who travels light,
    Surely knows he’s right.
    When he needs to ride the miles,
    He does so with a smile.
    Knowing either bike with the Brooks B17 or Swallow will be just right.

  34. Douglas Ellmore 
    Posted 2:20 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    It’s for you I give claim,
    For my love is aflame.
    The Brooks saddle of yore,
    Helps me today to race the tour.
    Finishing strong is better than long dreamed of fame.

  35. Anwar Rahim 
    Posted 2:22 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    To win a Brooks leather seat
    Now that would be quite a nice treat
    Your bike would look snappy
    And bum would be happy
    Though you need to be part of the poetic elite!

  36. Douglas Ellmore 
    Posted 2:24 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    A triathlete who travels light,
    Surely knows he’s right.
    When he needs to ride the miles,
    He does so with all smiles.
    Knowing either the Brooks B17 or Swallow will be just right.

  37. Douglas Ellmore 
    Posted 2:42 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    There once was a man from Harwood,
    While his name not Robin Hood.
    All the same he rode his bike,
    On a Brooks Swallow day and night.
    To raise money for the common good.

  38. Douglas Ellmore 
    Posted 2:43 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    correct it I do…

    There once was a man from Harwood,
    While his name was not Robin Hood.
    All the same he rode his bike,
    On a Brooks Swallow day and night.
    To raise money for the common good.

  39. Ron Leach 
    Posted 2:50 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    Here’s some advice
    My wife gave me twice:
    “Get your butt on a Brooks,
    Your hands in the hooks
    And try to come home nice”

  40. Anwar Rahim 
    Posted 3:04 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    What is it about a tan leather seat
    That would make my life fully complete?
    Is it the handsome good looks
    Or just that it’s a Brooks
    Or ‘cause it would keep my bum feeling sweet?

  41. Anwar Rahim 
    Posted 3:28 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    Trying to get up a hill
    With only one gear makes me feel ill
    Can’t stop my legs turning
    Though my leg muscles are burning
    But going down the other side is such a big thrill!

  42. Ron Leach 
    Posted 5:39 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    The saddle is the key
    To riding pain free
    So don’t be a wanker
    And develop a shanker
    Get a Brooks and you’ll see

  43. Ron Leach 
    Posted 5:40 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    I was given a gift
    Of a brand-new Swift
    It’s oh so nice
    I waxed it twice
    My riding pal is miffed

  44. Ron Leach 
    Posted 5:42 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    The poor old bloke
    Was totally broke
    A saddle of pleather
    Not fine Brook’s leather
    Made his bike a joke

  45. Ron Leach 
    Posted 5:44 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    Don’t worry about weight
    If your saddle feels great
    You can ride for miles
    With nothing but smiles
    Avoiding the pain you hate

  46. ron Leach 
    Posted 5:53 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    This saddle feels good
    Like every Brooks should
    It’s not just about butts
    There’s also numb nuts
    If a seat feels like wood

  47. Ben Young 
    Posted 6:15 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    I’ve had another go. Brace yourselves…

    Turns out its much harder than I expected
    To take Blazing Saddles, that Garth Brookes directed
    And relate it to Brooks England
    Its left me quite sickened
    It turns out they’re not easily connected

  48. Chris Anich 
    Posted 6:28 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    Wanna know about Brooks? Ask around!
    Cyclists’ praise for their gear does resound.
    All ’round planet Earth
    Folks concur of Brooks’ worth:
    Ev’ry dollar, yen, ruble or pound!

  49. Chris Anich 
    Posted 6:55 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    We are creatures of God’s wide creation
    And it’s true that we all know our station.
    If a cow He had made me,
    I’d hope Brooks trade to soon be.
    It’s the highest bovine aspiration.

  50. sean belly 
    Posted 7:03 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    just like a boat without paddle
    is a bicycle lacking a saddle
    mr brooks you can guess
    surely now more or less
    that the final word here must be straddle.

  51. Anwar Rahim 
    Posted 7:11 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    I love riding my vintage steel frame
    Those carbon copies are not what they claim
    They are all black and dreary
    Not stainless or steely
    And they can’t pull off the great Brooks name

  52. marko 
    Posted 10:28 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    as rain turns to sleet
    my legs they are beat
    three hundred miles
    but my bum, yes it smiles
    my brooks swift is such a treat

  53. Andy M-S 
    Posted 10:53 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    There was a fine rider from Cork
    Who was toodlin’ along in the park
    When ’twas time to skedaddle
    He hopped on the saddle
    And downed many pints before dark

  54. Britt Chester 
    Posted 11:00 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    My bike without brakes is a convert,
    It’s cool and hip when I subvert
    Whilst traffic and rain
    Grins, blood and the pain
    At least I can sit knowing comfort.

  55. David Epstein 
    Posted 11:12 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    An Anglican curate of Sarum
    Had a habit that truly would scare ‘em
    He’d climb on his bike
    Where his vestments he’d hike,
    And shewed the whole parish his bare bum.

  56. David Epstein 
    Posted 11:17 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    When I wake in the gutter hung over
    I know I’m not lying on clover
    To ten I must count
    Then my Brooks I will mount
    And bike to the pub and start over.

  57. Kevin Rae 
    Posted 11:25 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    There once was a chap from New Deer
    Who yearned for a comfortable rear
    So he fitted a Brooks and rode lots of loops
    It was a gift to his poor derrière.

  58. David Epstein 
    Posted 11:25 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    Paparazzi and starlets will battle
    The cleverest one did not addle
    She kept on her slicker
    But tossed off her knickers
    Wanting naught between her and her saddle.

  59. Cary DeBerry 
    Posted 11:31 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    Dreaming on roads under light
    We cheered with a furious might
    And got many looks
    On saddles by Brooks
    When our spin class was done for the night

  60. David Epstein 
    Posted 11:37 pm
    14 Mar 2011

    Biking through pine woods and spruce
    Behind her trim little caboose
    I shifted my gears
    Midst huzzahs and cheers,
    And her shiny Brooks saddle I goosed!

  61. Chuck Jones 
    Posted 12:55 am
    15 Mar 2011

    Alas I must make my confession
    On my Brooks I have caused great depression
    It is not a monstrosity
    But ischial tuberosity
    Tis my bum that has made the impression

  62. Chris Anich 
    Posted 1:00 am
    15 Mar 2011

    After riding for hours in Wales
    He felt like he was sitting on nails.
    “A Brooks saddle is needed,”
    He wisely conceded.
    “One specifically designed for males!”

  63. Helen Etherington 
    Posted 8:16 am
    15 Mar 2011

    I bought a Brooks saddle so renowned
    That it soon was the talk of the town
    I had to take the back seat!
    It was the talk of the street!
    Oh how I wish it was the other way round.

  64. Ben Young 
    Posted 8:18 am
    15 Mar 2011

    If like me you’re a fan of the tweed
    But still like to ride at full speed
    Brooks have a plethora
    Of Saddles, Bags ET Cetera
    That are sure to add class to your steed

  65. Jon northfield 
    Posted 10:23 am
    15 Mar 2011

    there was a lass called heather who loved to sit on brooks hand crafted leather . Then some would say . She got carried away . But because it was brooks she had a comfortable nether !

  66. Beda Kamm 
    Posted 12:05 pm
    15 Mar 2011

    Anyone who’s up for mischief
    from Glasgow down to Aberystwith
    speeding straight or turning hooks
    young school-boys or old-school crooks
    everyone knows this brand is British

  67. BREGAN 
    Posted 12:14 pm
    15 Mar 2011

    Mel Brooks

  68. Anwar Rahim 
    Posted 12:42 pm
    15 Mar 2011

    I must say that I have a confession
    This limerick writing has turned into an obsession
    But when the prize is so nice
    I have to enter at least twice
    Or perhaps three or four times in quick succession!

  69. Tom Carter 
    Posted 12:47 pm
    15 Mar 2011

    I used to be perched on a bike
    That felt like being sat on a spike
    My face used to contort
    with the anguish it brought
    So now its Brooks Saddles I like

  70. Ben Young 
    Posted 12:56 pm
    15 Mar 2011

    Bregan, of course you’re right! I meant Mel Brooks.
    I was in a very strange place when I wrote that Limerick!

  71. Beda 
    Posted 2:16 pm
    15 Mar 2011

    not suitable for the vegan biter
    not suitable for indians neither
    the colt is hot and hard to swallow
    brooks seat users are hard to follow
    bad for minorities good for the rider

  72. Ron Leach 
    Posted 2:52 pm
    15 Mar 2011

    OK guys, take off your glasses
    This here smack-down is not for the masses
    With a fine Brooks saddle you can ride for miles
    It’s art from leather and encourages smiles
    And not incidentally it protects our asses

  73. BREGAN 
    Posted 3:22 pm
    15 Mar 2011

    Somewhere over the rainbow methinks :)

  74. Joss Benyon 
    Posted 3:32 pm
    15 Mar 2011

    I’m about to ride seven hundred miles,
    But my saddle lacks serious style,
    It would be so neat,
    If I got a seat,
    Made with Brooks cunning and guile

  75. Joss Benyon 
    Posted 3:41 pm
    15 Mar 2011

    I saw a young man pass near,
    Who’s riding style was particularly queer,
    I said everyone knows,
    Pedals belong under toes,
    But a saddle shouldn’t be next to your ear

  76. Andy M-S 
    Posted 4:03 pm
    15 Mar 2011

    A gentleman riding a Raleigh
    (Which a cager described as sheer folly)
    Noted “such a big tuchus he had! What a ruckus!
    But riding my Brookus is jolly!”

  77. Anwar Rahim 
    Posted 4:13 pm
    15 Mar 2011

    Did you hear the one about the seat?
    It was leather and looked rather beat
    A Brooks of such style
    It had done plenty of miles
    For posterior comfort nothing can compete.

  78. Name (required) 
    Posted 4:40 pm
    15 Mar 2011

    Dad has an old B17 that he just won’t part with
    Him telling me “it’s the best seat” I thought was a myth
    After much consideration
    I was filled with eleation
    and my new brooks feels great on my old Schwinn!

  79. Ron Leach 
    Posted 5:23 pm
    15 Mar 2011

    Sure, Brooks saddle are mighty fine
    They’re proudly mounted on bikes of mine
    But I wish I had upon my back
    The beautiful Islington shoulder pack
    I’d toast that with some very fine wine.

  80. Ron Leach 
    Posted 5:33 pm
    15 Mar 2011

    typo correction:

    Sure, Brooks saddles are mighty fine
    They’re proudly mounted on bikes of mine
    But I wish I had upon my back
    The beautiful Islington shoulder pack
    I’d toast that with some very fine wine.

  81. Anwar Rahim 
    Posted 6:20 pm
    15 Mar 2011

    Last night I had a peculiar dream
    It had a saddle, two wheels and some cream
    The wheels were round
    And the cream was sound
    But the saddle wasn’t a Brooks and it caused me to scream!

  82. Anwar Rahim 
    Posted 6:22 pm
    15 Mar 2011

    Nothing feels just quite as sweet
    Than sitting on a Brooks leather seat
    What a beautiful saddle
    That is a joy to straddle
    It’s a comfort that can not be beat.

  83. Anwar Rahim 
    Posted 6:24 pm
    15 Mar 2011

    Your last competition was to pen a Haiku
    Only one entry did I manage to do
    A limerick I can write
    Though they’re not a pretty site
    Bad ones, there are more than just a few.

  84. Brent Badeaux 
    Posted 6:34 pm
    15 Mar 2011

    Form and function really come together,
    when I sit atop Brooks black leather.
    Over hill and dale
    through calm and gale-
    I feel just light as a feather.

  85. Chris Anich 
    Posted 7:38 pm
    15 Mar 2011

    Mike’s friends heard him grouse about stretchin’
    Like an elderly matron named Gretchen.
    They thought, “One day Mike’ll
    Put a Brooks on his cycle
    And we won’t have to hear all his kvetchin’!”

  86. sean belly 
    Posted 7:46 pm
    15 Mar 2011

    st pat’s lack of bike brought him sorrow
    so a bike with a brooks did he borrow
    whilst applying the brakes
    he rolled over some snakes
    so had fewer to deal with tomorrow

  87. Patrick Simpson 
    Posted 7:52 pm
    15 Mar 2011

    It’s time for a ride.
    Brooks saddle to comfort my backside.
    More fortuitous is this leather way.
    The everlasting Brooks saddle rocks forever and a day.
    Don’t forget this for work or for your play.

  88. Patrick Simpson 
    Posted 8:07 pm
    15 Mar 2011

    It’s time to commute.
    Brooks laden bikes feel like a fine suit.
    Leather forever makes the finest scoot.
    Brooks England has the most soul.
    Such fine componentry will never go the way of the Dodo.

  89. Ron Leach 
    Posted 8:28 pm
    15 Mar 2011

    When you wake up tomorrow
    Buy a bike or find one to borrow
    Have some bacon and eggs
    Then put a Brooks between your legs
    As you ride you’ll forget all your sorrow

  90. Patrick Simpson 
    Posted 8:28 pm
    15 Mar 2011

    Tis a we bit of prose.
    An ancient Brooks saddle you do not want under the nose.
    I will forever love these fine English leather pieces.
    These works of art have for so long supported the tasteful.
    Quality is not quick, or cheap to make grateful.

  91. Cary DeBerry 
    Posted 8:30 pm
    15 Mar 2011

    She pedaled through crannies and nooks
    Past roses whose thorns had long hooks
    But it wasn’t a drag
    When her skirt caught a snag
    Exposing a heinie imprinted with, “BʁOOKS”

  92. Ken Wolfe 
    Posted 12:36 am
    16 Mar 2011

    My name is Ken. I won with haiku.
    I can’t try this one, though I’d like to.
    The saddle Brooks sent
    Tells me to relent
    So I’ll just read what all of you guys do.

  93. David G Epstein 
    Posted 3:53 pm
    16 Mar 2011

    A Brooks saddle was part of my story:
    While cycling my way to great glory–
    I sat on a Brooks
    For comfort and looks,
    But my reasoning was a posteriori.

  94. Patrick Gill 
    Posted 7:35 pm
    16 Mar 2011

    My old saddle I threw to the floor,
    cause my backside was always so sore.
    I changed out my seat,
    Oh, isn’t this neat
    This Brooks I can’t help but adore

  95. Vicente Santiago 
    Posted 7:48 pm
    16 Mar 2011

    I was once a man of action
    Until I got diagnosed with erectile dysfunction
    My doctor says it from my bike
    A comment I very much dislike
    So I bought a Brooks saddle and now I’m a champion

  96. Vicente Santiago 
    Posted 7:51 pm
    16 Mar 2011

    I have a condition called erectile dysfunction
    It means I can’t get no satisfaction
    But the medications around have side effects
    I am not willing to take and have regrets
    So I got a Brooks Saddle and restored my function

  97. Patrick Gill 
    Posted 8:28 pm
    16 Mar 2011

    The mallets were swinging in battle,
    as announcers continued to prattle.
    The competition was hot,
    but my backside was not.
    All thanks to my handmade Brooks saddle

  98. Patrick Gill 
    Posted 8:34 pm
    16 Mar 2011

    I jokingly said, “It’s my day”
    for, St. Patrick’s had come out to play.
    They said, “Hey you fool,
    it’s not in reference to you.”
    But, I’ll ride to the pub anyway.

  99. Vicente Santiago 
    Posted 8:43 pm
    16 Mar 2011

    My green Mercian Vicintore has arrived!
    With barber poles and track ends I specified
    It took a while get to the parts
    Oh my, it’s such a work of art
    With my trusty Brooks Saddle, I’m satisfied

  100. Lily Leach 
    Posted 8:44 pm
    16 Mar 2011

    I’ve desired a Brooks for a great many years
    To consummate my worthy fixed gear
    I thought that my dad Ron
    Would assist his starving daughter to attain one
    But he’d rather collect for himself, it is clear.

  101. Patrick Gill 
    Posted 9:42 pm
    16 Mar 2011

    My bike with its elegant looks
    is often the target of crooks.
    I pray and I trust
    my lock will not bust,
    in hopes they bugger off my brooks

  102. Neil Warner 
    Posted 10:03 pm
    16 Mar 2011

    A Glenbrook’s all well down in Camberwell,
    But a Hoxton in Oxford’s a shocker
    The sight of a Brixton in in Ealing or Hexham
    Would cause Mr Boultbee to pucker.

  103. Patrick Gill 
    Posted 10:19 pm
    16 Mar 2011

    This discomfort could require a doctor
    because my old saddle has failed its proctor.
    Tis perennial folly
    my bum is not jolly.
    I need the Brooks leather concoctor

  104. Cary DeBerry 
    Posted 11:17 pm
    16 Mar 2011

    Not looking for fortune or fame
    When riding my bike in the rain
    No need for time trial
    Just comfort and style
    With a B66 that’s as good as they claim!

  105. Patrick Foley 
    Posted 11:37 pm
    16 Mar 2011

    Oh the long painful miles I rode
    the time in my saddle plateaued
    one day I tried brooks
    it comformed with its nooks
    my shape upon it I bestowed

  106. Patrick Foley 
    Posted 11:45 pm
    16 Mar 2011

    “My arse is in pain!” I cried
    So a Brooks leather saddle I tried
    It broke in in time
    and felt so sublime
    A Brooks saddle we should all be astride

  107. Chris Anich 
    Posted 1:24 am
    17 Mar 2011

    If you ride on a sensitive sit-upon
    (Each mile a teeth-shattering grit-a-thon),
    Then get ye astride
    A Brooks-embossed hide!
    Soon all other saddles you’ll spit upon!

  108. Chris Anich 
    Posted 2:16 am
    17 Mar 2011

    The comp’ny called Brooks o’er in Smethwick
    Makes a product for bikes quite specific.
    From this one little town,
    They get global renown,
    ‘Cause ev’ryone thinks they’re terrific!

  109. Ron Leach 
    Posted 1:20 pm
    17 Mar 2011

    My daughter is an adult, not a tyke
    She forgets that I gave her the bike
    Yet she mocks me for not giving
    In support of her living
    A Brooks saddle she says she would like

  110. Bill 
    Posted 1:42 pm
    17 Mar 2011

    I entered a bicycle race
    And built up considerable pace
    The Saddle was Brooks
    With Classic good looks
    And I won with a smile on my face!

  111. Bill 
    Posted 1:44 pm
    17 Mar 2011

    She rode a maroon Brooks saddle,
    for which she had been made to haggle
    She rode it with flair
    and it really matched her hair
    So she named it with with her braddle.

  112. David Hudson Baker 
    Posted 4:00 am
    23 Mar 2011

    Bring on the winds of passion,
    And you will be in fashon,
    Riding a Brooks,
    You’ll get the looks,
    From both sides of the ocean!

  113. Genesis Amateur 
    Posted 11:27 am
    26 Apr 2011

    The absent are always in the wrong.

  114. BR 
    Posted 7:28 pm
    26 May 2011

    My saddle is a Brooks
    My miles are logged with smiles
    With that saddle comes second looks
    then affirming nods nods and smiles
    And so many happy miles

  115. Wee odes to the sorry cyclist | Sargentandco's Blog 
    Posted 5:31 pm
    2 Jun 2011

    [...] of Brooks [...]

  116. Erik 
    Posted 6:05 am
    24 Jul 2011

    A girl once rode in to Seattle
    hungry for the next polo battle.
    All the boys tried their best
    to win her by contest,
    but Brooks is all she would straddle.

    inspired by Bill’s (had to make it local :)

  117. Ian Liversidge 
    Posted 9:36 pm
    30 Jul 2011

    One morning while I was out riding,
    A van had a go at side swiping,
    There was fear in his eyes
    When I stopped at the lights
    And gave him a bloody good hiding!

  118. Mike 
    Posted 7:06 pm
    22 Sep 2011

    On a Brooks rides the girl of my dreams;
    but she doesn’t know, so it seems.
    It drives me insane
    but I don’t complain,
    ’cause I play on her bike polo team.

  119. Noonanio 
    Posted 8:40 am
    24 Apr 2012

    While ruminating over a beer
    It became so deceptivey clear
    That in praise of St Michael
    I really should Cycle
    A brooks saddle pressed close to my rear

  120. BREGAN 
    Posted 5:23 pm
    24 Apr 2012

    Excellent!

  121. Dave Noonan 
    Posted 5:24 pm
    24 Apr 2012

    While ruminating over a beer
    It became so eminently clear
    That in praise of St Michael
    I really should Cycle
    On a Brooks saddle pressed close to my rear