The 2011 Brooks A to Z Competition.

2 May 2011  |  Posted by GARETH  |  Categories: Events

Reflective buttons from radpropaganda.org

Aesthetically, Brooks can define extraordinary fields. Given his ingenuity, John knew leather materials, not only phenomenally quiescent, redoubtable saddles. The uninformed view whispered “Xanthophyll, you Zombie!”

What does this have to do with a Brooks competition?  Read on fair bicycle user…


From Write a Bike by Juri Zaech

Freshly back from a visit to the Brooks factory in Smethwick, and laden down with all manner of paraphernalia pertaining to the world’s oldest and finest bike saddle company, we have decided once again to put some stamps on a parcel, and let the People decide whose address should be added to it.

It’s Competition Time again!

Behold the 2011 John Brooks A to Z Brainathon!

Our task this month is tougher to complete than a Limerick, and more work-intensive than a Haiku, yet compensates with the huge amount of relative freedom afforded those wishing to give it a go.

Compose something of 26 words’ length. It can be a poem (doesn’t have to rhyme), a sentence, a series of sentences, anything at all. Punctuate, italicize and bracket as your heart desires. The only rule is, the first word of your composition should begin with the letter A, its second with the letter B, its third… you follow. Of course, that means we might in fact have 26 rules.

Wait a second, 27. The winner will also have somehow alluded to the majesty of the world’s finest leather cycling saddles along the way.

Hold on, 28. A maximum of three Proper nouns.

All sounds fairly straightforward; will anyone be emulating Ken Wolfe or Anwar Rahim? We doubt it. This one has quality, not quantity, written all over it. Which isn’t to criticize the two gentlemen’s literary abilities, of course! Merely to say that anyone who can come up with fifty of these possibly has too much time on their hands.

Our opening paragraph today is an example of one bad, meaningless road you could go down. It does meet minimum requirements, though. We will naturally be expecting much more imaginative stuff on the podium.

Oh, and don’t bother looking for free software that churns them out. There isn’t any ha ha!

Honorable mentions in our occasional round-ups for anybody who impresses.

All entries to be received in our Comment Section below!

Prizes, as always, very special.

…And Brian called! Designing electric fishbowls gives him irreversible jaundice. Keeps looking my number over. Perhaps quietly reach Smethwick to undo Vincent’s wicked xenophobia yesterday? Zebra.


Image by Cornelli

Temporary Header

46 Comments

  1. Don Hatcher 
    Posted 12:51 pm
    2 May 2011

    Astounding Brooks comfort! Don exclaimed.
    Fortunately Gareth had included Jane’s kitten, lovely Ming. Now open pawed,questioning roughly sensuous times under Victor’s wonderful xenophobic, yawning Zucchinis.

  2. Geoff Hume 
    Posted 2:52 pm
    2 May 2011

    Are Brookes comfortable? Doesn’t everyone feel genuinely happy just knowing leather’s much nicer. Omnipotent, perfect, quirky, restrained, such understatements. Vaccillate? With xmas you’re zealful

  3. Ken Prouse 
    Posted 5:13 pm
    2 May 2011

    All Brooks creations deliver excellence.
    For generations hundreds improved journeys.
    Kind leather, moulded naturally, optimises performance.
    Quintessentially regal saddles transform ubiquitous vectors.
    Wonderous xenium yearned zealously.

  4. Cary DeBerry 
    Posted 10:03 pm
    2 May 2011

    Alas, beseeching cycling’s demands, “England Flies Gallantly!” Headlining in joyful, kindly leather, modestly named of pedaling quality. Relaxing saddles teemed upon velvety wheels…Xanadu! Yogi’s zeitgeist!

  5. Cary DeBerry 
    Posted 12:50 am
    3 May 2011

    A Brooks can defend even frightened glutes (hiding in just knickered leggings). Monogramed name on proud, quality ridden saddles. Tightened underneath. Verifiably, weathered xenagogue, yet…zen.

  6. Dylan Grimm 
    Posted 2:52 am
    3 May 2011

    All Brooks can defer fanny gripes.
    Holy ideals jump kangaroo-like.
    Money, no obvious problem.
    Quelling rear swelling
    totals quite record selling.
    teeming uber-vital workings,
    xerophilous – youthful – zealous.

  7. Dylan Grimm 
    Posted 2:53 am
    3 May 2011

    All Brooks can defer every fanny gripe.
    Holy ideals jump kangaroo-like.
    Money, no obvious problem.
    Quelling rear swelling
    totals quite record selling.
    teeming uber-vital workings,
    xerophilous – youthful – zealous.

  8. David G Epstein 
    Posted 8:18 am
    3 May 2011

    Astounding Brooks craftsmanship, cleverly detailed; eleemosynary fastidiousness, glowing happily, immoderately jubilant, kleptomanes’ lust. Manifest nobility, obsessive pedalers questing relentlessly. Saddles triumphant, ubiquitous vitality, wandering Xenophon’s youthful zest.

  9. David G Epstein 
    Posted 8:23 am
    3 May 2011

    Abruptly Brooks cried, “Don’t eat flowers. Great hope isn’t jest, kid. Let me nail one poster quietly.” Running swiftly to urge vigilance, while Xanthippe’s yelling zoomed.

  10. David G Epstein 
    Posted 8:30 am
    3 May 2011

    Ain’t Brooks cool, dumb Eton fairies? Grasping honchos, imitation Jeremiahs, keening loudly. Man! No one pedals quietly, riding steadily to Utopia. Vanity undermines Western xenophilia, yammering Zuleikas.

  11. David G Epstein 
    Posted 8:32 am
    3 May 2011

    (Revision) Astounding Brooks craftsmanship demonstrates eleemosynary fastidiousness, glowing happily, immoderately jubilant, kleptomanes’ lust. Manifest nobility, obsessive pedalers questing relentlessly. Saddles triumphant, unconcerned vitality, wandering Xenophon’s youthful zest.

  12. Pedal Monkey 
    Posted 9:27 am
    3 May 2011

    Adroit builder. Capriciously deviant. Entrenched furiously. Grateful hedonist. Illuminated juxtaposition. Knowingly ludicrous. Malapropisticly nebulous. Orgasmic pedaler. Quantum revolutionary. Spiritually transparent. Unequivocably vegan. Wanderlust xenodochy. Yosemite zapatos.

  13. Graham White 
    Posted 9:40 am
    3 May 2011

    “Aerodynamic bottom cushions,
    Durable, ever-firm.
    Gusset Health Is Jeopardised?
    Keep Learning Man!
    Never Offer Problematic Quilted Rump Saddles; Tanned Undercarriage Vessels Work!”,
    Xerxes yelled zealously.

  14. Andy Smithson 
    Posted 9:55 am
    3 May 2011

    Algie’s Brooks, caressed daily, earlier Grandpa’s hairy inside jodphur leg must nocturnally often polish quiet rapid strokes turning under Violet’s widely yawning zip.

  15. Andy Smithson (revision) 
    Posted 11:36 am
    3 May 2011

    Algie’s Brooks, caressed daily, earlier fat Grandpa’s hairy inside jodphur kissed leg must nocturnally often polish quiet rapid strokes turning under Violet’s wild XXL yawning zip.

  16. Ron Whitmire 
    Posted 1:21 pm
    3 May 2011

    All Brooks cyclists deserve extremely fine grade hide. In Japan Keirin like many nice old products. Quality reigns supreme though ultimately villains will xerox your zippers.

  17. Ben Ackland 
    Posted 3:00 pm
    3 May 2011

    Any brand can do frightfully garish; happiness is jolly kind leather: moulded, not pinched; quietly regal saddles tooled uniquely, valued widely. Your xystus’ zenith.

  18. Ken Prouse 
    Posted 3:18 pm
    3 May 2011

    A bemused cyclists distressed extremities fried greatly !

    Headline :-

    INJURIOUS JEOPARDY !!
    Kidderminster local man neatly overcomes posterior quandary.
    Remedy : Swift transformed underpants vexation.

    Wastefully x-rayed your zucchini

  19. Ben Ackland (ammended, forgot 'o' and order of alphabet)) 
    Posted 3:45 pm
    3 May 2011

    Any brand can do ‘Frightfully Garish’; happiness is jolly kind leather: modest, not overly pricey; quietly regal saddles tooled uniquely, valued widely. Xystus, your zenith.

  20. Arizona Bike Guy 
    Posted 5:54 pm
    3 May 2011

    Amazing. Brooks Comfort developing exquisitely. Fantastic! Gone… Hours… It’s just kilometers… Let’s me navigate open places… Quality ride… Supple though uncompromising… Vegabond… Wanderlust… Xanadu? Yes. Zen…

  21. Judge Morton 
    Posted 8:53 pm
    3 May 2011

    Astride Brooks, comfort does emancipate. Fetterless go happily independent joyriders. King Leather makes numbness’ occurrence past-tense. “Quite resplendent” say tushies unanimously. “Virtual wheeled Xanax!” yells Zuzu.

  22. Ben Ackland (ahem...FINAL revision, forgot 'e') 
    Posted 9:20 pm
    3 May 2011

    ny brand can do ‘Everso Frightfully Garish’; happiness is Jolly Kind Leather: modest, not overly pricey; quietly regal saddles; tooled uniquely, valued widely. Xystus, your zenith.

  23. London Baroudeur (any prizes for most revisions?) 
    Posted 9:23 pm
    3 May 2011

    Any brand can do ‘Everso Frightfully Garish’; happiness is Jolly Kind Leather: modest, not overly pricey; quietly regal saddles; tooled uniquely, valued widely. Xystus, your zenith.

  24. Ken wolfe 
    Posted 9:28 pm
    3 May 2011

    Assuredly, Brooks constantly defies expectations! Fannies grin! Happiness is just kindled longer! My, no one praises quite rightly such terrific, under-valued workmanship! Xerox yon zenith!

  25. Ken Wolfe 
    Posted 9:31 pm
    3 May 2011

    Assuredly, Brooks constantly defies expectations! Fannies grin! Happiness is just kindled longer! My, no one praises quite rightly such terrific, under-valued workmanship! Xerox yon zenith!

  26. Lowell 
    Posted 10:06 pm
    3 May 2011

    Aha, behold clearly dear excellent friend, girlfriend hopes in joining kisses, ladies marvel near our prized quintessential riding saddles toured upon Ventoux. Warning: xenophobia yields zero.

  27. Juliana Caetano 
    Posted 6:35 am
    4 May 2011

    A Brook’s Challenge Doens`t Exist For Getting Hard Inspire. Just Let Mind Narrate. Open Quiz Round Some Tweets Uncertain Voyage. With X-rays You Zoom…

  28. BREGAN 
    Posted 8:00 am
    4 May 2011

    What is the antonym for “prizes”?

  29. snake on a plane 
    Posted 1:37 pm
    4 May 2011

    What do I win if I tell you?

  30. Burning Fat Not Fuel 
    Posted 2:20 pm
    4 May 2011

    At Brooks, consummate designers engineer for greatness.
    Handling incredible journeys. Killing long miles.
    Never offensive – perfect quality rides – straight to Utopia.
    Valiantly wandering – xenomaniac – Young zealot.

  31. A Brooks Contest Displaying English Fluency… And So On | Albany Bicycle Coalition 
    Posted 6:16 pm
    4 May 2011

    [...] is not the only rule. For a full list of rules and how to enter visit their site. They have not listed the prizes or how long you have to enter but it started May 2nd and [...]

  32. Cary DeBerry 
    Posted 9:13 pm
    4 May 2011

    A Brooks can do everything, from –
    Grandiose heights in junipered knolls,
    Lasting mounts (numerously on Paschleys),
    Quenching racing’s superlatives –
    To undressing vixens, wantonly xeroxing yesterday’s zeal!

  33. Cary DeBerry 
    Posted 9:15 pm
    4 May 2011

    Affable Brooks’ Chinese developers execute fabulous gleaming hides into just keen looking masterpieces, never obstacling production quality. Raising standards, the uber velo wistfully xeroxes yesterday’s zeal.

  34. Randal Putnam 
    Posted 9:44 pm
    4 May 2011

    A Brooks can decidedly enrich friendly gallops hitherward. I journey keeping linear maps nearly obscured. Passing quagmires, ruinous saddles thermoplastic underperform verily. Wily xebecs, yonder, zag!

  35. Dan Taylor 
    Posted 10:19 pm
    4 May 2011

    A builder can deliver exceptional fois gras.
    Hirsute irregular jowls know lethargic men.
    Numerous orthopedic perches quarrell.
    Raw saddles transform universally.
    Venerate weasels.
    Xerox your zeal.

  36. BREGAN 
    Posted 10:49 pm
    4 May 2011

    Chinese developers?

  37. Joss Benyon 
    Posted 11:07 pm
    4 May 2011

    Another Brooks Competition, Disappointingly Elitist, Favouring Generally High Intelligence.
    Jaded Karma.
    Like My Nice Opposing Prose?
    Quietly Resenting, Stupidly Typing Unreadable Verse With Xerophthalmia.

    Yours,

    Zoocytium.

  38. Cary DeBerry 
    Posted 12:39 am
    5 May 2011

    Acerbically, Brooks could develop everything fairly grand…his intellect just knew leather, metals, newly opined panniers, quintessential riding saddles, tweed upon velo…whilst xylophonically yodelling zingers!

  39. snake on a plane 
    Posted 12:14 am
    6 May 2011

    Atop burly cattle, delectable external fillets.
    Genius “hides” in jocular.
    Kinda like mahogany nauseating oneself?
    “Points…”, quipped Rebecca, “…surely, to underhand, vile wood.”
    “Xylophobia!”, yelled Zara.

  40. E.M. 
    Posted 1:14 am
    10 May 2011

    A Brooks comes! Destroying entire, futile grudges.
    Hold! Josephine kisses leather’s most notable. Originality, Precious Quirks, Regal Station, Truly Universal, Victorious, World-renowed. Xavier, Your Zen.

  41. E.M. 
    Posted 1:17 am
    10 May 2011

    A Brooks comes! Destroying entire, futile grudges.
    Hold! Invariably, Josephine kisses leather’s most notable. Originality, Precious Quirks, Regal Station, Truly Universal, Victorious, World-renowed. Xavier, Your Zen.

    (Third time’s a charm? Ugh. Sorry.)

  42. Ron Leach 
    Posted 2:53 am
    15 May 2011

    Albert Brooks created delightful, energetic, films. Galloping horses inspired John’s keen leather mastery, obsessive, purposeful, quest: SADDLES. Traditional, unadulterated,, velo workmanship. Xanthous zealot!

  43. Ron Leach 
    Posted 3:40 am
    15 May 2011

    CORRECTION:

    Albert Brooks created delightful, energetic, films. Galloping horses inspired John’s keen leather mastery nonpareil. Obsessive, purposeful, quality: Revered SADDLES. Traditional, unadulterated, velo workmanship. Xanthous, young zealot!

  44. Julius 
    Posted 8:08 pm
    19 May 2011

    [ Nice safety Buttons by he way! ]

  45. Ryan Rickerts 
    Posted 9:03 am
    17 Jun 2011

    All bicyclists concur decisively: England’s finest genuine hide idealists just kill laziness. Making not of perfection, quite realistically, saddles true under volume! Why xenophobes yearn zealously?

  46. Tim Ecclestone 
    Posted 8:53 pm
    21 Jun 2011

    Astounding Brooks’ Cleverness Delivers Excellent, First-Grade Hide Ingenuity. Just Kills Lethargy, Maintains Normal Orderly Posture. Quintessentially Realised Saddle Technology; Unquestionable Vigorousness Wrangles Xerxes’ Youthful Zest!